Offtopic » Friday Open Thread: September 21st, 2018

Good Morning!Hope you’re having Youth Kyle Rudolph Jersey a great week and the end of your work week is by noon so you can start your early weekend.If you’re wondering (I’m sure most of you aren’t) hunting in 90 degree weather, in a word, sucks.I got to help track two deer for other people today, so I got that going for me which is nice and tomorrow is another day.In the meantime we’ll continue with our daily thread full of beer recommendations, nap strategies, crock pot and smoker recipes. Have another cup of coffee and drop by for some fan wisdom, snark and hang out with the cool kids for once.With that, let’s do this.Around the DN since our last thread:Chris has the Daily Norseman FanPulse Week 3: Vikings fans still NFC North’s most confident.Eric has his weekly preview article, Vikings vs. Bills Preview: To Be The Best, You Gotta Beat The Worst (By A Lot) while you’re there check out the GPoTW (it’s mostly just a “pick” this week).Chris writes the Vikings safety Andrew Sendejo was Sende-hosed: Vikings safety flagged for penalty despite “doing everything right”Vikings’ NFC North Rivals: News and Notes, Week 3 Dan reads up on our division opponents so we don’t have to!Football Machine with SaxyPrince: Hour 1 – Ties! Kickers! Treadwells! Hello Kirk Cousins and Hour 2– Open Phone Lines, Listener Questions, and Bring on Josh Allen.Vikings news from other sources:From Vikings.com Dennis Green: A Lasting Legacy.Someone pointed out in the thread yesterday that former Vikings HC Dennis Green will be inducted posthumously into the Ring of Honor during Sunday’s game, thank you for pointing that out.Offensive Coordinator John DeFilippo Says Vikings Doing ‘Just Enough’ in the Run Game.Presser Points: DeFilippo on Bills D, Edwards on Johnson’s Return, Priefer on Bailey.From their lunch break series: Vikings QB Kirk Cousins career could take off in Minnesota.League news: Steelers WR Antonio Brown on frustrations: ‘We’re losing. We suck’Raiders QB David Carr: ‘It hurts your heart to see’ Khalil Mack off Raiders.Falcons WR Julio Jones dismisses concerns about calf injury.There’s more, check it out for yourself.We come to today’s media selection: Carl Spackler (Bill Murray) Talks about meeting the Dalai Lama Again, we all know the rules, but in case someone is new:-No discussion of politics or religion-No feeding of the trolls-This isn’t a male version of The View, so leave the gender hatred at the door-Keep the bad language to a minimum (using the spoiler tags Womens Tom Compton Jersey , if you must)-Speaking of which, if discussing a newer show or movie, please use spoiler tags-No pictures that could get someone fired or in serious trouble with their employer-If you can’t disagree in a civil manner, feel free to go away-While navigating the open thread, just assume it’s sarcasmWith that, the beer light is on and the bar is open. Belly up and tie one on. Don’t forget to tip your waitress, try the venison chili and as always, Welcome Aboard and Skol Vikings!Zim Tzu goes through d茅j脿 vu ED NOTE: This has bad words. Most of the other things we write on here usually don’t, but this one does. It seems to be a popular bit, so until the law catches up with me, I’m going to keep doing it. Thanks for understanding, and thanks for not reading and not letting your kids read it if bad language isn’t your thing. Hope you enjoy the rest of our articles—JoshThat’s right bishes, it’s a substitute effort on Zim Tzu this week. And just like all other substitutues, feel free to hate me and throw paper airplanes around this joint cause I clearly have less moral authority than the real teacher.Well, I’m not sure how many Vikings fans expected what was coming on Sunday, but I’d say the number was somewhere between 99 and 101 percent of us. I mean, what else is new? Playing down to the level of an inferior team, getting blown at home, suffering a historic loss when expecting to win, fucking up expectations when it comes to living up to the team’s potential ability to win a Super Bowl.So what do you have to do when you blew a game you should have won Womens Trae Waynes Jersey , one of your captains is dealing with mental health issues, and you’re heading out on the road to face one of the few other teams in your conference that could challenge for a Super Bowl this season.Sounds like a good recipe for success, I know! Because you are Zim Tzu, The King In The North, Breaker Of Gold Fever, The One Who Ties Packers and Gets Run Over by Bills, High Septon Of Eagan, Lord Commander Of The Iron Range And Twin Cities, Master Of Fortress TCO, Honorary Elder Of Mankato and Protector Of The Realm.That’s where Ted (and I, for this week and next) come in. What Ted and I (and I truly do mean just us, I better not get sued over this shit) do is break down the film* of the press conference, send what Mike Zimmer said through our own personal translators**, then spew it back out for public consumption***.*Yes, it is more instructive than anything Leslie Frazier ever said, no it should not be considered helpful medical or legal advice.**And I’m not talking about those jank-ass translators they have on whatever the latest sci-fi show is, I’m talking the translators that everyone gets when six bottles of beer are on the floor.***I’d recommend wearing sunglasses because the taeks in these articles have a tendency to blind people for their hotness.As he usually does, Mike Zimmer opened his press conference with a statement (Note, this press conference happened yesterday):What Zim Tzu meant: Well that was a fuckin’ disaster, wasn’t it? This team played flatter than Kyrie Irving thinks the Earth is on Sunday Youth Adam Thielen Jersey , and now we have to go face the New Best Team in the West. On a Short Week. Because why the hell not. Oh, and they’ve only gotten better since we kicked their asses last season, and it certainly seems like we’ve gotten worse since then. But who knows, maybe that fucker on their sidelines is still feeding that shlub under center his feeds and maybe this defense can pull something out of their asses.Q: Is football important when it comes to Everson [Griffen] right now? Are you worried about his well-being?What Zim Tzu meant: What the fuck else can happen to this team while I’m in charge? I mean, we’ve literally almost had a player’s leg fall off, I lost my best running back for a year due to legal and league issues, my offensive line all died one year, and I’ve been cycling through quarterbacks like heroin addicts cycle through dealers. Of COURSE one of my captains needs to have a mental health evaluation. Guess I should be glad that I wasn’t around when the ceiling fell in on that old piece of shit stadium, though I suppose the new one could always catch fire if one of those birds those guys were worried about fall into the glass and the glass decides to microwave the field.Q: When did you know [Griffen] was out of sorts? Do you hope to see him soon?What Zim Tzu meant: All right you fuckers, one more person asks me a question I don’t like about Griff, I’m going Melissa McCarthy on your asses and throwing this podium right through you.Q: Do you think the [Everson Griffen] situation affected your football team’s focus on Sunday?What Zim Tzu meant: I’ll kill any of you sons of bitches who lets it out of the room, but what else would explain that disgraceful display on Sunday? I mean, it was Buffalo for fuck’s sakes, not the goddamn Monstars. We damn well better find a supply of that “Michael’s Juice” before we hit the field against L.A. this afternoon because if we don’t, I’m making these sons of bitches walk home.Q: What is the biggest challenge the Rams offense will present?What Zim Tzu meant: Yeah, you know how everyone was bragging about how good our offense was going to be before this season? Yeah, think like that, but only with an offensive line. That’s what we’re facing tonight. Fuckers.Q: Did you watch a lot of last year’s tape when you played the Rams? You guys played well against them.What Zim Tzu meant: You’re goddamn right we put on last year’s tape. Hell I have that game’s tape on a permanent loop in my bedroom. You know, to help me fall asleep. Nothing like proving to the rest of the world that those sons of bitches aren’t as good as everyone thought they were. If it happens again tonight, I may never sleep again.Q: What does Suh add to their defensive line?What Zim Tzu meant: For fucks sakes http://www.thevikingsfootballauthentic.com/matt-wile-jersey-authentic , if our offensive line hasn’t learned how to block again before tonight’s game, Kirk could very well be leaving this game in a body bag. Thank the good Lord that the only good part of L.A.’s defense that is fully healthy right now is their defensive line, because if we also had to deal with those corners, I think we’d be playing to see how long it takes us to cross the 50-yard line again. Fuckers.Q: What if anything can Kirk do to cut down on fumbles?What Zim Tzu meant: Kirk, I love you man, but if you fumble even once this game I swear I will personally cut your hands off and use them as boxing gloves to teach the corners how to play coverage. HOLD ON TO THE DAMN BALL JACKASS.Q: You’ve talked about pass rush discipline in the past. How did you think that was on Sunday and how does the ability of teams to extend plays stress the defense?What Zim Tzu meant: WHEN I SAY KEEP THE DAMN QUARTERBACK IN THE POCKET, YOU KEEP THE DAMN QUARTERBACK IN THE POCKET. Fuckers.Q: It’s one thing to play on Thursday Night, but how tough is it to play a team two time zones away on the road on Thursday Night?What Zim Tzu meant: Hey you scheduling sons of bitches, can a team get a home game on Thursday night just ONCE? I mean, for fuck’s sakes, how likely is it that we’re on the road for every fucking one of our short-week games while I’m here? About as likely as a man actually deserving to wear a large condom, that’s how. Fuckers.Alright you sons of bitches, let’s go out there, hope our fans outnumber the Rams to make it seem more like a home game, and prove that Week three was just a damn fluke.See you next week.